


Needled

by eveshka



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Ignis has a penchant for bad puns, Noctis has a pain in the ass, no not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-27
Updated: 2017-02-27
Packaged: 2018-09-27 08:19:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9984965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eveshka/pseuds/eveshka
Summary: "Let's go kill some cactuars for profit. It'll be fun!" Noctis learns to regret those words.





	

Noctis had been so excited, running up with the WANTED bill in his hand, waving it at Ignis and Gladio. Certainly one hundred cactuars were quite a few, but they'd killed the adamantoise, surely they could handle cactuars, right? And the bounty was incredible... a hundred thousand gil. They'd be set for a while, and think of the bragging rights!

 

Now, many hours later, Noctis wasn't as excited. In fact, the King of Lucis (uncrowned, sans kingdom, in hiding) couldn't sit down... and yet he was too tired to stand. Prompto and Gladio had each downed elixirs and had then been sent away by Ignis. Noctis wasn't so lucky as to get away with an elixir... at least, not until Ignis had pulled what felt like ten thousand needles out of his royal backside.

"Perhaps, Noctis, you will consider the repercussions of your choices before engaging a phenomenal number of cactuar again?" The query was arch, punctuated by tugs of needles as Ignis carefully removed them, one by one. "Although, I believe these to be slactuar needles, accounting for the color and density of the shafts."

"Would you stop appreciating them and just get them out?" Noctis growled, eyes glittering with irritated discomfort. He was, after all, the one doing a reasonably good imitation of a pincushion. "I'm exhausted, hungry, and I can't. Sit. Down." The last were spoken with effort as he gritted his teeth when Ignis bumped a few needles in an attempt to grip one.

"My apologies, Noct. This is a… delicate task requiring the most subtle of touch. Anything too intense would render pain quite exquisite.” Ignis replied, his mind more on the removal of the needles than his words, for if he’d been paying attention, he’d see the backs of Noctis’ ears turning red.

“Ignis,” the King began, his voice conversationally and dangerously moderated. “We’re talking about removing cactuar needles from my ass, not sexual sadism. And we won’t discuss that further while you’re anywhere near my ass from now on.”

Ignis paused, rewound the conversation in his head, and then found his own ears were heating. Abashed, and ruefully grateful that Noctis was turned away from him, Ignis cleared his throat. “Apologies, Noctis, I did not mean to needle you.”

The next sound Noctis made was a cross between incredulous surprise and indignation. “Really, Ignis?” 

The advisor’s jaw worked for a moment as he pulled two more needles and he coughed discreetly. “Stay still, lest you be on pins and needles for the remainder of the day, Noctis.” Truly, Ignis knew better, but he couldn’t help himself. “At the very least, you should be happy to put this experience behind you.”

Noctis’ voice once again hit that carefully controlled tone. “Are you done?”

“Look on the bright side, Noct… at least I sent Prompto and Gladio away, lest you become the butt of their jokes as well,” Ignis continued blithely, pinpricks of pain flickering as the needles were removed in quick succession.

“Are you poisoned or something, Ignis?” Now there was true irritation in Noctis’ words, and he nearly turned to look to the other man before thinking the better of it. He was just about ready to say he’d handle the rest himself, when there was a sharp tug and a moment of breathless pain.

“I believe we have come to the end of our prickly situation, Noct. Get dressed and call Prompto to let him know. I’ll start dinner. How does rump roast sound?”

Ignis was doing it on purpose, Noctis knew. What he’d never know was how he managed it without laughing. “Cheeky,” Noctis muttered, heading for the tent. “Just… cheeky.”

**Author's Note:**

> For Demishock's prompt on Tumblr: post-100 cactuar fight hurt/comfort


End file.
